neXus Boston

2009-07-23T13:01:00.006-04:00

The video below is a story about a Christian football coach that had an opportunity and used it to his greatest advantage. His actions gave hope to a group of young convicts in which they had not experienced before. Take a minute and watch this....

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=b6c7b995da9705f7695b

We, as youth workers, encounter young men and women each day that are in need of hope. Life has thrown them lemons and making lemonade doesn't come naturally to them. Not only as youth workers, but as believers, we have a hope in Christ that is unmatched by anything else that people tend to place their trust in. How can we use our leverage points to let another young person see the hope and love of Christ?

Please, share your thoughts...

Legacy to Remember

2009-07-03T12:39:00.002-04:00

Since June 25, a very unexpected and tragic event has stammered across international headlines outlining the catastrophic and heartbreaking death of a world-wide prodigy. Michael Jackson is dead. Wow, a humbling, yet remarkable experience when looking at it from a varied perspective. People die every day; every second for that matter. So I began to ask myself: What made Michael Jackson so special? Not only because people die every second, but because Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays all died within days of him and there has been substantially less coverage for them. Nobody is really gathering around and chanting their famous lines or playing their commercials or movies over and over again. This is no disrespect to them at all, but my point is for us to wrap our minds around what made Michael Jackson so reverenced? What makes everyone dust off old CDs and change their Facebook pictures to his moon walk and glimmering glove? Sure Mike is the “King of Pop” and notably has some of the greatest accomplishments known to mankind, but what is else is it? The legacy that Michael has left far preceded his death and has transcended not only generations, but language, racial, and socio-economic barriers that constrain so many other artists. As an inaccessible and highly demanded musical genius, Michael was a part of countless families and consumed pieces of hearts that are now broken. Michael overcame extreme boundaries, catapulted over racial difficulties, and revitalized the scope of music for all to come. From the Jackson 5 through the latest trial for pedophilia, Michael’s music speaks louder than anything else. When people heard of his death, reactions ranged from total astonishment, to actual tears, to attempted suicide; Amazon was bombarded, text message inboxes were flooded, and iTunes sales were totally lopsided. Think about that. Even as I write this I am kind of amazed, not really by Michael, but by people’s reception and retention of him in their hearts and minds, even through his adversity. Then I think about myself. There was a task we had to do in high school English class where we articulated what we desired to be on our epitaph. This resulted in us asking ourselves about the legacy we would leave. What would people remember us by? Would we make substantial change in others or would we live life passively accepting whatever is thrown at us? These questions I pose to you.

In view of Michael’s death, the silver lining is within the spirit of his music that continues to live. Contrary to common knowledge, everyone leaves a legacy. However, a key factor is what legacy do you want to leave and how long do you desire for your legacy to remain? Working with youth provides an opportunity somewhat similar to M.J. They are seemingly oppressed, and infiltrated with the norms of society. They are consumed with mediocrity and shaped by a very influential culture. Michael looked at these similar circumstances and responded in a way that was transformative, intuitive, innovative, and sustainable. I would love for you guys to ponder these things….

1. How do you feel or how did you respond in reaction to Michael Jackson’s death? Why?
2. What are ways that you can invest into the legacy that you will leave for others?
3. As a youth worker, how do you desire to be remembered throughout time? (Ex: through your lifestyle, etc)

Please, don’t forget to respond! We want to hear from you!

Out of "The Mist"

2009-06-18T14:41:00.001-04:00

I recently watched a movie entitled “The Mist”. It wasn’t the first time that I have seen it, however, it was the first time that it spoke to me in loud volumes. The movie is about a town that experiences a torrential amount of mist and there are “creatures” that live within the mist. They are from a military project gone wrong. These creatures roam throughout the town and wreak havoc on the people and the main story line is focused within a grocery store where there are about fifty or so people trapped inside and slowly, little by little, they die either voluntarily, as “wanna-be” heroes, or as the “creatures”’ lunch. [If you haven’t seen the movie I apologize, but its an older movie so I think you will be okay.] Nevertheless, the main character, a husband and father, begins to lead a divided group and he found a consistent and faithful few that were willing to fight back and escape the mist.

Out of the store they go, bravely running to his car which can hold all eight of them. Unfortunately, on the way there three of them didn’t make it. The rest of the group wrestled their way through the mist, finding the car and safely driving away. They were determined to find their way through the tragic scenery of the town, filled with tormented bodies and debris that the creatures had displaced and left for spoil. The movie ends with the group going as far as they could. There was no more gas in the car and still behind them were screams and terrifying sounds that were not human. With five people (including his son) and four bullets, the main character decides that he would rather they die quickly and by his hands than be tormented and ripped to shreds by a mindless critter that had terrorized the whole town. Irate, depressed, and drained the man stumbles out of the blood-filled car and into the street, screaming in agony. To his anguish, within minutes, he looked up to the sound of military tanks and soldiers on foot that had come to rescue the remaining people in the town. With gut-wrenching turmoil, the man screamed out “NO” and fell to his knees.

As I was watching this again, I really began to think about several things. First, why didn’t they attempt to wait it out? Why were they so eager and ready to quit? Was the trip and the experience worth it just to end it all? Was that the only way out? Etc. These questions, and more, flooded my mind as I began to analyze the actions of the group. Then, I began to think about us; Youth Workers. I thought about the torment, pain, sometimes terrorizing fear and tormenting agony that we can experience through the lives and experiences of our youth. I think about even our lives. We have lives too! We have things going on; some are married, others have children. Some are in school and even have multiple jobs. With all of that, I could imagine you could feel a lot like this town being bullied. Violence plagues us, the economy limits and demands of us at the same time, our kids challenge and depend on us and life is not remorseful in what happens to us. And similar to that car, we can run out of gas. We all have, or can get to a place where it would be much easier to quit and give up than it would be to continue to fight and wait it out. Although we aren’t in a cloud of mist that is filled with scary monsters, I do want to encourage you in whatever avenue of youth work you do.

The Lord promises that the “mist” will end. Galatians 6:9 says “And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.” (Amplified Bible) This scripture is encouraging to me because it doesn’t demise the fact that we will face interesting and challenging events in our life. However, it challenges us to tap into our courage and steadfastness and continue to “do well” knowing that it will produce a harvest. The Mist is a good movie (although you probably don’t want to see it now), however, the promise that we have as believers is that we KNOW that Christ is fighting on our side the entire time and instead of it being a matter of “if”, it’s simply a matter of “when”. God bless you in whatever ministry that you do and continue to fight through the “mist”!

Two Worlds Collide

2009-06-10T16:26:00.000-04:00

Duuuuh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duuuuh, da, da, da da, duh, da, duh, duh, da, duh, daaa, duh, da, da, duh, crash.........Two Worlds Collide

Today is the Harvard University Commencement, and according the Boston Globe article from June 2, 2009, Chanequa Campbell will not be participating in the ceremonies. Chanequa is one of the young women connected to the May 19th murder of a drug dealer inside her dorm doorway. She is also a native of Bedford-Stuyvesant and alumnus of The Packer Collegiate Institute. But the Globe today is implying that her old world has invaded her new world of Harvard.

Chanequa came from a single parent home, got recruited into Prep for Prep, played sports, got diagnosed with lupus, and successfully completed Packer Collegiate to then major in sociology at Harvard, study abroad in London one year and work at Goldman Sachs one summer. So where is her world?

Writers are trying to make a point here, but they say that guns, drugs, and murder are straight out of Bed-Stuy (as if those things do not exist in Boston and Cambridge, Northeastern or Harvard). There seems to be a “hood culture” and an “Ivy League” culture, and this is making people wonder how and when the two shall meet. Some black leaders want to hold the Ivies responsible for transitioning students to fit into its world. Yes, they should or society should work so that they are not such disparities between the worlds. Other people want to talk about drug use on campus. Other people want to know why she is barred from graduating. I am wondering if she still gets the degree if she completes coursework.

I’m putting on a conspiratorial hat right now. Is Harvard being protected at the expense of Chanequa? What other students have been charged with crimes or misconduct at the university and how were their consequences handled? I am certain that Chanequa did something wrong, at the least a few bad decisions, but I hesitate to think that it is all because of Bed-Stuy. I happened to have hobnobbed with the Ivy League students and can speak from experience about how much drugs and alcohol live on campuses. Some dormmates of (a friend of) mine (wink) had rituals for test-taking that included bongs and beer (which often led to destruction of property) and now these young people are doctors, lawyers, and investment bankers. They were not from Bed-Stuy but Greenwich, CT, Princeton, NJ, and Brentwood, CA. When they participated in misconduct, their social capital played in their favor. Most universities have excellent PR offices and keep many things on campus, unless it is large enough to make the news. Where is Chanequa’s social capital and her network? I hate to think that the programs and people who believe that our beginnings do not define what we become abandon those they take on as projects. Some of these people are already speaking about her in past tense, as if her future is dead. Let us not ever do that.

I will hypothesize this… A ‘dime bag’ is $10, so $1,000 is probably the sum total of hallways and dormitories full of students. Since most students do not have money to buy all of the bags, there should be a list of students connected to this particular supplier. Chanequa probably still has family in Bed-Stuy. She might not have the luxury to walk away from Bed-Stuy as if it is a suitcase you can put in a closet. She might not have been fully embraced in the world of Harvard, especially if everybody knows where she’s from and what tuition she’s not paying. For urban kids, going to the Ivy League does not always come with liberation from everything that might have oppressed them and freedom to soar without restraint. I wonder what kind of lawyer she has…

I do not have all the facts. I do not believe that she should have connected herself to deleterious activities nor do I believe that she should not face consequences. I do not know what the policy is for commencement participation, but I know what commencement means. I challenge the imbalanced view presented about her negotiation between worlds and the fact that there is acceptance of so many worlds inside this country. She has contacts in Manhattan, London, Milan, and Cambridge. So she doesn’t have an old world and a new world. She actually has the whole world...if we don’t take it all away from her.

Check out the article@http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/06/02/as_graduation_nears_a_harvard_senior_finds_herself_in_trouble?mode=PF

….tell us what you think.

Building Bridges

2009-05-28T16:53:00.001-04:00

For the past week and a half I was engrossed into the Haitian culture in the Bahamas. I was able to experience certain aspects of their lives and traditions and really see the character of the people. My feelings were bittersweet. My heart was overjoyed to see droves of people show up for nightly services; they would walk MILES to pack out the convention center. The men’s clothes were neatly pressed and the women’s church hats were vibrant and colorful. Their worship was intense, their faith was authentic, and their joy far exceeded their circumstances. As I sat in my chair, I thought about their living conditions; the lack of job opportunities and the oppressive relationship between them and the Bahamians. I thought about them being seen as outcasts, not able to get certain positions simply based on their last names. My heart grew troubled. The same people that were so zealous and exuberant with praise and adoration to their Creator were the same people that were considered to be the absolute bottom of the totem pole. They had every reason to gripe and complain, but instead, reverted to hope and faith. However, later that week, I had an opportunity to meet with some of the local youth leaders. They shared their fears, insecurities, and even failures of working with the youth in their groups and there were some questions that struck me.

One problem particularly occurs between 1st and 2nd generation Haitians in the Bahamas. The first generation finds it necessary to preserve their culture; they speak Creole all the time and really have a hard time adapting to the Caribbean customs. The second generation (youth) desire to fit in. They speak English (until they are punished for doing so by older family members) and their style of dress and even choice of music reflects the Western civilization. There is a giant rift between these generations and the fear is that it’s growing. Not only that, but dealing with the innate cultural barriers between the Haitians and the Bahamians and even the socioeconomic disparity that was so evident. While the conditions we face here in Boston are a bit different, we still have social injustices, economic and cultural barriers, and even intergenerational differences that cause rifts between the kids we deal with and their worlds at large. As a youth leader, how do you deal with these things? How do you preserve culture when it’s common to “fit in with the crowd”? How do you encourage strong communication between parents/guardians when the agent that is pulling them apart seems to be stronger than the love that should bind them together? How do you promote hope and faith in an Almighty God when lives are in shambles and what should be a common luxury turns into a high commodity? And lastly, how do you as a youth worker cultivate a safe environment for your youth to come and share their true feelings about the various things they face?

Please respond and let us know how you build these bridges.

I Surrender All

2009-05-13T13:42:00.002-04:00

Written May 7, 2009

“Every other day you hear something happening on the news about people getting shot,” says my grandmother. She used to say that when I was in college and I told her it wasn’t true. She had a tendency to exaggerate, but this week it has been mostly true. It’s only Thursday and every other day somebody has been shot.

Monday night, Tamon Evans-Choate, 18, was shot on his way to the studio to work on his cd. He wasn’t in a gang, and it was almost 7:30 pm. A gunman approached, fired shots, and then hopped into an SUV. Other people who might have been involved ran. After he was shot he was smiling, but then he stopped and started reciting the 23rd psalm. Within the hour, he was pronounced dead.

Today, Thursday morning, just down the street from the office, Soheil Turner, 15, was shot in the head around 7:30 am while at a school bus stop and has possibly died. Another teenager or young adult seems to have targeted him and ran away. News reports say that he had a female basketball coach that was supposed to walk him to the bus stop this morning, but couldn’t. Word on the street is that somebody was waiting for him.

I do not know Tamon or Soheil, but I know that potential is lost. Gang members or not, life is a God-given gift but society judges with partiality. What I notice is that Tamon didn’t ask for help, but he went back to his spiritual foundation. “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.” It doesn’t say what church he went to or what denomination he was a part of, but he knows God when it is important. Like the person that could not walk Soheil to the bus stop (maybe because they knew something was up), who might forever feel guilt for not being able to be everywhere youth want or need us to be, we have limited power in some realms but absolute power in others. This one of for those of us who get overwhelmed and frustrated.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.” Tamon knows where the power is. Sometimes we forget what our power looks like. We have absolute power:
- To call the names of children every day in prayer
- To teach the ones we have access to the foundations of God’s love
- To be there when we can without assuming mini-god responsibilities
- To accept that God empowers us to do His work but does not need us to subscribe to the ambitious goal to do everything
- To be confident in God’s sovereignty
- To receive God’s comfort and grace for ourselves and others

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

I’m not apathetic. I’m heartbroken, so I’m surrendering….to God. I’m sorry that a young man has lost his life, but I’m so happy that he called out for God instead of me. God saves better than I can. Yes, we should try to fill in all of the gaps for our youth, but if we give them Christ we will have given them everything they need.

Teens and Religion??? Read, and respond....

2009-05-06T13:52:00.002-04:00

What do God and church mean to teenagers? How do they affect their lives and decision-making process? Multiple studies on youth and religion conducted by the Gallop International Institute over 40 years tell us that of 500 teenagers aged 13-17, 95 to 97% believe in God and almost half attend religious services. Younger teens have a higher attendance policy than older teens, but have a similar importance for religion in their lives.

Studies looking at sexuality and risky behavior report that higher religiosity influences delayed sexual activity and fewer occurrences of smoking, alcohol use, truancy, sexual activity, marijuana use, and depression. Other risk behaviors highlighted were vandalism, interpersonal violence, weapon-carrying, and suicide ideation. Religion tends to influence teen behavior through social control. Some say that humans have an innate drive toward deviance, but that this natural tendency can be restrained by connections to social organizations. These social organizations provide norms and consequences for deviant behavior. Examples of consequences include guilt, shame, expectation of divine punishment, and embarrassment. There is also psychological distress that happens when an individual’s belief and behavior are not consistent.

In addition to the restraining effects of religion, there are constructive influences of religion. Positive influences through moral order, learned competencies, and social and organizational ties give teenagers social and individual tools to participate in society. Church involvement and belief in God provide moral directives, role models, coping skills, community and leadership skills, social capital, and extra-community skills.

In the midst of all of these wonderful findings, we notice something important for leaders and parents to address. There are perceptions about how youth respond to religion that are incorrect. What we find is though the belief is that youth reject religion, youth simply fail to engage in it in a meaningful way. Of the youth that do participate in religion, we have evidence for its positive effects even when it might not be completely meaningful. There is tremendous potential not being maximized.

We ask…
What does this mean for those religious institutions serving youth? Are your programs having these effects on youth, and how do you as leaders know? What does “meaningful” look like to teenagers? What do you think?

Dealing with Tragedy...

2009-04-20T20:39:00.001-04:00

All last week I thought about April 16th at Virginia Tech; many thoughts raced across my mind. I think about sitting in class when I first saw the officers with rifles drawn running through the quad. I think about various text messages I got asking where I was and had no idea what was going on. I think about covering the windows, barricading the doors, and lying on the floor. I see the tears coming down people’s faces. I see fear breaking down usually pleasant countenances. I see hugs filled with uncertainty. Two years later, I see the need for God’s continued healing on our campus. Virginia Tech’s campus was shaken as a gunman went on a rampage. Starting as a domestic issue in a dorm and escalating into “taking out the world that was against him”, 33 people lost their lives during this horrific tragedy. So many questions race across my mind. Why here? Why now? Why these people? God, where were you? How can you see God in the midst of tragedy? What do you say to people needing comfort when you need comfort yourself? How do you respond to the accusation of an idle God when you have no initial indication of His whereabouts at the time?

As a youth leaders in Boston we deal with a lot of primary and even secondary trauma. Last week one of my youth explained to me that on March 29th her best friend was shot and killed right down the street from where she was sleeping. She held back, attempting to “keep it real” and “go hard” due to the regular occurrence of people losing their lives. However, this time it hit home; inside she was crumbling. Tears came to her eyes as she shared memories of him and went on, in anger, expressing the need to stop this senseless violence. She then proceeded to ask me some of the same questions that I asked myself on April 16, 2007. We as youth workers face difficult situations all the time and the effect us in different ways. It is imperative that we find a technique to help us deal with, life. We, here at neXus, would love for you to share some of the ways you tend to handle these type of situations. What do you do? How do process your thoughts/emotions? What self-care methods do you use?

Please post your comments...

Lessons Inspired By Loss

2009-04-09T12:22:00.000-04:00

April 9, 2009

Yesterday, the Boston Globe printed an article about the arraignment of the teenager connected to Steven Odom’s murder. Steven Odom was a 13-year-old was an eighth grader who played drums at his father’s church, loved basketball, and attended the Timilty Middle School until October 2007. He was a member of a group targeted in a mistaken identity situation.

Steven Odom was killed by 18-year-old Charles Bunch, who outlived Steven by only ten days. David Johnson, another 18-year-old, is accused of having given Charles Bunch the gun that killed Steven Odom. Yesterday, David Johnson had to look into the faces of a family he changed, and the magnitude of the situation overwhelmed him. Maybe it was because of the possibility that his life could change dramatically. Maybe it was because he never ever really thought beyond the moment. Maybe it is because certain events in gang life are expected, but other events are risks young people take until the consequences catch up with them or the ones that are left standing. He said he was sorry. What is he sorry for?

It does not matter. He is sorry. There are lessons in this story. The Odom family teaches one. The Odom family, in the midst of their grief, is extending an olive branch in understanding hurt and fear in the young man who might be responsible for taking Steven from them. They want to help. They want to forgive. The other lesson David Johnson teaches. He says he sorry and reflects on pain caused by actions he committed or might have helped people commit. Is not this an opportunity for the teachings of Christ to show us how to respond?

When people find themselves in situations where they need help, someone needs to be there to help them. When they make mistakes, the consequences should be merciful and just. During this week where Jesus is crucified beside a thief, Jesus shows us how it is never too late for redemption, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. The Odom family must have God’s help because it must be hard to think about helping someone who hurt you. I think they are seeing David Johnson not only as a gang member or an accomplice to murder, but also as a child of God. Anything is possible with God. How will the Odom family help David Johnson, his family, and his peers? I don’t know, but communication is the first step to reconciliation. They need our help. They need a community of faith workers to be vigilant in teaching conflict management and a society that provides opportunities for success for all young people so there is less need for antisocial survival behaviors. That’s where we come in…to bring the kingdom of God forth. How are you doing that right now? Steven and Charles are gone, but David is still here waiting on a judgment.

neXus

Coming Soon...

2009-03-30T14:31:00.000-04:00

Hello to all of the bloggers. The neXus blog has been down for a while but beginning May 2009 the neXus staff will be blogging weekly. Please check back with us for updates, events, and anything else that is going on in the world of youth work! We look forward to hearing from you!